whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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