Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
