4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
