Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
