people are starting to question the shark bite story
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
