i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
