im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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