well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
