the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
