Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
