i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
