Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
