So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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