it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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