Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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