stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
