i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Randomize
