party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think people are normalizing furries
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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