I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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