I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
