she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
