did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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