It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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