actually, I'm a sock model
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
