All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
