wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize