Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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