oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
