halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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