There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
