Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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