im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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