I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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