he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
