forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
