You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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