can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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