whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
