My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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