I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Holy shit dude........stairs
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