just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
