Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!