I want to stick my p in your. b.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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