Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy

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  (302): I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy http://tfl.nu/6i8p
  Replies (18) Good night (1214) Bad night (2116)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now

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  (256): every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now http://tfl.nu/b8d3
  Replies (21) Good night (884) Bad night (2602)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.

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  (269): I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying. http://tfl.nu/75ln
  Replies (14) Good night (1265) Bad night (4794)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys

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  (970): He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys http://tfl.nu/pzx8
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (2390)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis

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  (540): Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis http://tfl.nu/8a3h
  Replies (13) Good night (3409) Bad night (759)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.

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  (603): Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight. http://tfl.nu/r24v
  Replies (17) Good night (2204) Bad night (1237)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.

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  (352): Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman. http://tfl.nu/vqgs
  Replies (13) Good night (2760) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING

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  (850): She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING http://tfl.nu/6jxf
  Replies (1) Good night (1490) Bad night (521)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.

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  (803): I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at. http://tfl.nu/pwf4
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (481)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.

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  (250): During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high. http://tfl.nu/970w
  Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial, avoidance and beer.

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  (312): Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013. (312): Denial, avoidance and beer. http://tfl.nu/o423
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.

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  (603): I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/hfvn
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  On my way

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  (317): it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone. (1-317): On my way http://tfl.nu/kjt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1142) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.

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  (407): When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night. http://tfl.nu/dw2v
  Replies (6) Good night (1112) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask

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  (503): You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask http://tfl.nu/3k90
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (297)

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