Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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  (978): i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened http://tfl.nu/l318
  Replies (23) Good night (1180) Bad night (7311)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Girl's gotta have her standards.

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  (780): Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years. (1-780): Girl's gotta have her standards. http://tfl.nu/3849
  Replies (7) Good night (1277) Bad night (2006)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that

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  (214): Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that http://tfl.nu/hzhm
  Replies (33) Good night (4032) Bad night (1333)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?

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  (260): How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content? http://tfl.nu/u3hm
  Replies (8) Good night (2784) Bad night (1332)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"

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  (401): No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out" http://tfl.nu/ac7g
  Replies (3) Good night (2841) Bad night (904)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.

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  (61): Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above. http://tfl.nu/o1v2
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (2343)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...

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  (956): He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type... http://tfl.nu/bma2
  Replies (12) Good night (4551) Bad night (1000)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

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  (201): I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this? http://tfl.nu/60aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1222) Bad night (725)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.

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  (732): I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas. http://tfl.nu/d95y
  Replies (6) Good night (2365) Bad night (961)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.

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  (979): Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties. http://tfl.nu/dl3v
  Replies (11) Good night (2141) Bad night (1027)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.

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  (904): Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light. http://tfl.nu/d5q4
  Replies (20) Good night (1336) Bad night (581)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You went home with a man in a loincloth

  (914): View more from New York

  I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???

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  (952): You went home with a man in a loincloth (914): I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween??? http://tfl.nu/0bv2
  Replies (2) Good night (1391) Bad night (468)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.

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  (515): As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/c7nn
  Replies (9) Good night (1083) Bad night (387)
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  (209): View more from California

  I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.

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  (209): I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/o4b3
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (433)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.

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  (248): Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us. http://tfl.nu/bddr
  Replies (4) Good night (1146) Bad night (432)

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