Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
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Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.