Will you blow on my dice?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
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I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc