I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...