Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand

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  (913): omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand http://tfl.nu/y2lh
  Replies (10) Good night (640) Bad night (1598)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (645) Bad night (2456)
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  (310): View more from California

  The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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  (310): The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was http://tfl.nu/84hp
  Replies (3) Good night (2336) Bad night (590)
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  (619): View more from California

  I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.

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  (619): I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face. http://tfl.nu/73xe
  Replies (24) Good night (2457) Bad night (766)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number

  (813): View more from Florida

  so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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  (813): I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter. (407): i think you have the wrong number (813): so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool. http://tfl.nu/uuec
  Replies (70) Good night (7011) Bad night (556)
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  (716): View more from New York

  We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  well done

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  (716): We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter. (907): well done http://tfl.nu/po76
  Replies (34) Good night (8917) Bad night (617)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4406) Bad night (905)
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  (805): View more from California

  That bad?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.

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  (805): That bad? (1-805): Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding. http://tfl.nu/ntsx
  Replies (14) Good night (828) Bad night (4600)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final

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  (724): Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final http://tfl.nu/g3gv
  Replies (7) Good night (2485) Bad night (910)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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  (206): Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage http://tfl.nu/qnyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1901) Bad night (1139)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

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  (647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine. http://tfl.nu/8bqc
  Replies (7) Good night (810) Bad night (2019)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...

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  (214): I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex... http://tfl.nu/zoqe
  Replies (4) Good night (1803) Bad night (368)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.

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  (920): I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine. http://tfl.nu/elnb
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (347)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.

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  (636): So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN. http://tfl.nu/pnvk
  Replies (3) Good night (1171) Bad night (394)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

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  (506): There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet. http://tfl.nu/yw9h
  Replies (23) Good night (1009) Bad night (479)

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