I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
