final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My feet surprised me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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