there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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