i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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