honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
