Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize