If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
