Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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