i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
As shirtless as possible
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
