Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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