smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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