im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Semen is not good for contacts.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
