Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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