It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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