how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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