Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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