You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
