Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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