My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize