What a fucking waste of an outfit
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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