I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
