if you like me you must not know who I am
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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