Old men and throwing up are my life now.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Randomize
