it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
