I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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