Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
